"I'm A Ruin" by MARINA

"I'm A Ruin" Single Cover

The album Froot by MARINA (formerly known as Marina And The Diamonds), was and still is one of my favorite albums of hers, and is in my top 10 albums. This song in particular is one of my favorite songs, I think of all time.

It fits one of my favorite type of song genres, where the melody is more happy and cheery, while the lyrics are more melancholy, think "Dancing on My Own" by Robyn.

The lyrics play with a fear of commitment, but also a self-awareness that this person is hard to love. It plays with the idea of being a bad lover and knowing it. I love how honest it is and how much of a introspective piece it is. Of course I don't know her personally, but I think the sentiment is there.

I think the idea that she's self aware of her own behaviors in relationships is so interested to see in a song, especially on an album like Froot where a lot of the songs are more happy and less confessional.

The chorus is simple, just "I'll ruin, yeah, I'll ruin you/ I've been doing things I shouldn't do" which doesn't do a lot for the confessional aspect, but the verses and bridge really send the message of this song.

The lyrics I think really explain the meaning of this song are from the second verse, "You still can't look me in the eye / 'Cause you've been bitten once and now you're twice as shy" which takes the "once bitten" trope and turns it on the speaker. I think using it to describe herself is so interesting and very revealing, and it really exemplifies this idea of her "being a ruin".

To ruin means to damage something beyond repair, so using this word to describe herself is very confessional, which I think is so interesting because saying something something is ruined vs calling yourself a ruin carries a lot of weight in different ways. Something that has been ruined is past tense, so it something already happened to it and that's just how it is now. Somebody being a "ruin" is inherently negative. I feel like being a "ruin" has to come with some kind of reason for being like that, so something most likely "ruined" her or just the way she talks about herself makes her think of this.

It could also tie back to her "Electra Heart" era where she had this alter-ego/character of Electra Heart who was a serial dater and even had a song titled "Radioactive" where she described herself (Electra Heart) as toxic and hard to love. Froot doesn't have any mention of this character, but it's possible that these two ideas are connected.