Analyzing "F*ck Me Eyes" by Ethel Cain

Yeah I'm talking about her again. What can I say, she's my favorite artist. (This also will not be my last post about her and her music, sorry!)

The song "F*ck Me Eyes" by Ethel Cain is from her album Willoughby Tucker, I'll Always Love You and was the second single released before the album was officially released.

I want to give a brief recap of the story of Ethel Cain, as both Preacher's Daughter and Willoughby Tucker, I'll Always Love You, both follow the fictional story of Ethel Cain, a girl born in 1970 in Shady Grove, Alabama, a very small, very religious town. Ethel Cain was created by Hayden Anhedonia, who also is the face of Ethel Cain.

The album Preacher's Daughter, follows the life (and horrible death) of Ethel Cain as she goes through her life. The story sees her go from her home town all the way to California, where she ends up being murdered and cannibalized by a man she thought loved her. It's pretty dark, but throughout the album she goes through three different relationships with three different men. In

"A House in Nebraska" she sings about her first ever love, Willoughby Tucker, which she met in her home town. (More on him later.)

"Western Nights" is about a man named Logan Phelps, who she found right after Willoughby had left her (it's still unclear whether he died or left, but with the release of the album titled after him, it points to the latter.) Logan, bluntly put, was a violent, aggressive man. He was abusive towards Ethel, and ends up dying in a shootout with the cops.

She then reminisces on her family, before finding her next infatuation, Isaiah Abram, who she meets in Texas after being on the run after Logan's death. She meets Isaiah in "Thoroughfare" and the rest of the album is about their relationship. To make a long story short, he takes Ethel from Texas to California in his truck (this is relevant), gets her addicted to drugs and pimps her out, before taking her to a remote cabin in the woods to murder and cannibalize her. (There's so much here it'll have to be another post.)

Now that that's out of the way, Willoughby Tucker, I'll Always Love You is about her first love, Willoughby Tucker (shocker), and also her life in Shady Grove, Alabama.

"F*ck Me Eyes", in particular, is about a girl Ethel knew named Holly Reddick. Holly is, to put it lightly, the girl that all the boys flock to. Ethel would watch as Holly would get all of this attention from the boys and assume that Willoughby, would follow suit. The song title directly references the look Holly would often have, a more literal meaning to the words.

"She goes to church, straight from the clubs", a line from the song, has been explained by Hayden that Ethel watches as she goes from the clubs which, "are often seen as hotbeds for sinful activity by Christians..." right to church. Ethel would watch as she would go from this sinful place, right into the house of the Lord, and garner attention from the boys in each space.

Holly and Ethel are very parallel characters, completely separate from each other. Ethel is very conservative in her sexuality, and watches as Holly often is with different men.

The chorus is where we see more of Holly's activities, and her feelings about them. "She's just tryna feel good right now," showing that Holly is desperate for immediate gratification, constantly repeating the cycle as the joy wears off each time. The last line in the chorus is "But no one ever wants to take her home" which shows that despite her constant sexual encounters, the men she's with aren't looking for love or, possibly, that Holly has no willpower to try and have a healthy relationship that didn't revolve around sex.

We, as listeners get to see more about Holly as a character than Ethel possibly did, as the line "And when she leaves/ the never see her wiping her f*ck me eyes." This is Holly wiping her tears after being catcalled and seen as only a sexual object. She has sadness or maybe even regret for the persona she's crafted for herself.

The bridge, which is my favorite part, shows Ethel empathizing with Holly, and even longing to be more like her. She can't fully hate Holly because she sees what she'll never be in Holly. She sees Holly dealing with similar issues to what Ethel is facing in a better way; being more mean and assertive as opposed to Ethel, who is soft-spoken and easily scared. She feels like that she could never be "that kind of angel" because "He would see". Which, to me, means either God or her father, the preacher of Shady Grove, would disprove of her being like Holly. Ethel is scared of losing Willoughby to Holly, but can't blame her for simply trying to get through her own struggles in her own ways.

Holly and Ethel's stories almost mirror each other, because in "Gibson Girl" from Preacher's Daughter, Ethel is used by Isaiah for her looks and body, but hiding her pain from others, like she watched Holly do, but Ethel was too scared to ever escape.

In the chorus of "F*ck Me Eyes" it's stated that the only thing Holly is scared of is, "the passenger side of some old man's truck". Ethel was taken by Isaiah in his truck, always his passenger. Holly's biggest fear happened to Ethel Cain, and it cost Ethel her life. If she had been more like Holly, scared of committing to a relationship, she might have lived.

Something about this song, really speaks to me. I think Ethel's constant co-dependence is something I also struggle with. I'm a twin, so for as long as I've lived, I've always had someone there for me. It's sad to say, and sad to hear, but I don't think I can be independent in a relationship because of having that close relationship with my brother. The relationships I've had haven't ended well, mainly because of my own actions, which all relate to my issues with co-dependency.